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The Importance of Storytelling on Your Professional Relationships
Storytelling is a skill that has been used since our ancestors first developed the ability to communicate. It is a skill that most of us begin to develop at a young age. Telling stories gives us a way to share our experiences with others and, when done well, allows us to connect and build relationships.
When we connect, we build an initial level of trust that leads to more opportunities for building trust. As long as we take advantage of these opportunities, we can build stronger relationships through storytelling.
Elements of a Good Story
In my experience, the elements that make up a good story include:
- The Story is Simple
- A good story is easy to understand. It should be told in a way that is easy to digest by the intended audience. Simplicity also makes it easier to remember the story’s overall message and intended lesson.
- Emotion
- A good story should include some emotional component like joy, pain, and/or humor. If you’re like me, the moments in our lives we remember the most vividly are those that had some extreme emotion attached to them (i.e. a hilarious mistake made, the death of a loved one, some serendipitous encounter, etc.)
- Honest
- A good story is an honest story. You don’t necessarily need to tell each fact or be perfect with the details, but the story should be based in fact and as accurate as possible. Also, the storyteller needs to believe they are telling a true story. If you try and tell a story that you don’t believe is true, there’s a good chance you won’t come off as authentic. When it comes to relationships, authenticity and honesty are key to building trust.
- Real
- A good story is one that the teller experienced first-hand. This could be something that actually happened to you or something you saw happened to someone else. If it’s a story that was passed down or told to you (i.e. a family story), it can still be a good story, it just needs to be told from your point of view.
- Relatable
- A good story is relatable to your audience. Before you consider telling a story, try to consider whether you’re going to offend anyone and whether or not the group would be interested in the topic. If your audience is an organization focused on protecting birds, you may not want to regale them with your bird hunting exploits.
How to Become a Better Storyteller
In my experience, ways you can become a better storyteller include:
- Practicing Speaking in Public (for oral storytelling)
- There are organizations like Toastmasters that you can join that will provide you with training and support for public speaking
- Practicing How to Remove Extraneous Background Information
- If the red shirt that you were wearing isn’t necessary to the story, don’t take the time to mention it. The extraneous information only draws focus away from the important details.
- Practicing Showing your Story (instead of telling)
- When you tell a compelling story, you should feel compelled to act it out. Make it a habit to show important details while you’re talking as opposed to just saying it.
- Learning and Practicing Keeping your Story Brief
- If a story takes too long, there’s a good chance that your audience will lose interest. People in general have short attention spans and unless they are kept stimulated, they will quickly turn their attention to other tasks or conversation.
- Practicing Adding Dialogue
- If a pivotal detail or story element is something said by a character, don’t simply say they said it, act it out. When you act it out, you allow the audience to experience the story from your point of view.
Ways That Storytelling Can Improve Your Professional Relationships
There are several different ways storytelling can improve your professional relationships and help you get ahead. Being a better storyteller can help you build relationships more quickly, better help you tell your own story in interviews, and better help you sell your company or product.
Storytelling Helps You Build Relationships Faster
When we tell stories, the storyteller is showing vulnerability and an implied trust in the listener. They are providing you a glimpse into their life and hoping for a favorable reaction and reciprocal connection.
This vulnerability sends a signal to the listener that you are opening up and sharing. For most listeners, this causes them to relax and be more willing to share their own thoughts and stories.
In addition to this vulnerability, there’s also the chance that through storytelling you will identify a shared interest or common acquaintance, colleague, or friend. If you do find a something in common, it typically leads to other interests and allows you to quickly develop a level of trust that you otherwise wouldn’t have found.
Once you’ve identified things in common, you’ll have something that you both can talk about. Depending on what it is, it could open the possibility of performing the interest together or identifying another interest that you can perform together (i.e. slow pitch softball league, video games, cycling, etc.).
If you connect through a mutual connection, you could perform an activity with all three of you (i.e. lunch, training, coffee, etc.) The more you share and interact, the stronger the relationship should become.
Using Stories in Your Interviews
Stories are crucial to having a good interview. The nature of interviews is typically a question and answer format, there is a high probability that most interviewers will hear similar or the same answers over and over again. Having an honest story, from your own experience, to accompany your response gives you an opportunity to connect with the interviewer and provide an example of your answer.
If you do connect with the interviewer, it can help you from a “fit” standpoint. If the interviewer has something in common with you, they’ll be more likely to think you fit the culture, and be more likely to recommend you for a position or award for a contract.
When you have an example from your past that coincides with your answer, it shows the interviewer that you have had success in the past or haven’t, but have learned from it. You know how to answer the question and have valid experience to add credence to it.
Using Good Stories to Sell
The reasons that stories help sell (a product, your company, yourself, etc.) are the same reasons listed above. They allow you to quickly build relationships. They allow you to provide validity to your claims. It would be stories (personal stories, testimonials, etc.) about the thing you’re trying to sell that back up your claims.
An example would be if you were trying to sell a service to increase sales by 25%. A story about a client that achieved 30% increased sales along with a client testimonial would provide much more validity to the statement than just making the statement.
How I Use Storytelling on Intentional Fortune
I try to incorporate stories into my blog posts if at all possible. I feel like the more I share with you, the better you’ll be able to relate to my situation and stage in my career and life. In my eyes, the more people I can relate to and connect with, the more I can help as they’ll trust me and act on the advice I lay out in this blog.
Do you use storytelling in your professional life? Has it helped you build better relationships? Do you have any stories about your storytelling?